Friday, October 2, 2009

Letterman Admits To Sex With Staffers

                                                                           

TOP TEN EXCUSES DAVID LETTERMAN HAS FOR BOINKING THE STAFF

10.   IT'S  RESEARCH FOR MAKING FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE'S SEXUAL AFFAIRS
  9.   MOST OF THEM JUST OPTED FOR THE LATE NIGHT T-SHIRT
  8.   TIRED OF PEOPLE REFERING TO ME AS "THAT OLD GUY"
  7.   I THOUGHT THEY WERE CHEAPER THAN HOOKERS
  6.   MY WIFE IS REALLY A BITCH
  5.   TIRED OF THE BAND GETTING ALL THE BROADS
  4.   I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE DREW BARRYMORE WAS A GUEST
  3.   MISTOOK MY HEART MEDS FOR VIAGRA
  2.   IT JUST PROVES I'M NOT GAY
  1.   HEY, I'M DAVID LETTERMAN DAMN IT AND I CAN BOINK WHOEVER I WANT
  


Oh, what the heck, ten more


10. Why let John Edwards have all the fun?
9. Trying to take the spotlight off that Palin chick
8. Couldn't find anything else for my personal assistant to do.
7. What was I to do, she tapped my foot under the bathroom stall.
6. In this economy it's better to get laid than laid off.
5 In any economy it's better to get laid than laid off.
4. You just wouldn't believe how boring the writers strike was.
3. The Beatles were wrong about that money thing.
2. I never consented to sexual relations with that woman.
1. It's so damn lonely at the top.

2 comments:

Betty said...

Who is that on his desk?

Billy said...

It may be Courtney Love. Drew Barrymore assumed the same pose and flashed him some years back but this is not her.